A Day Of Love?

February 14:
The heart was pierced,
it bled dry
and died

Fools now
celebrate it
as a day of Love!

When we stop to care
Only the best still holds on
Soon, nothing remains.

Course Of Love

In the course of Love,
When the feeling comes and goes,
It takes more than gives.

Family Matters

Family matters:
The ones who have it - complain
Those who don't - miss it!

Remains Of The Pain

Another year gone...
another date to strike-through...
Memories remain

Different places...
and in different time zones...
Hearts feel the same pain

Broken, fragmented...
incoherent moments are...
Her only remains

It's not forgotten...
Not quite remembered as well...
What gives such pain!

Some part lives in you...
And some part resides in me...
so much still remains

We will see it through;
The pain that remains...
and the remains of the pain

Morning Walk

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctony

Bougainvillea
white, red, pink and yellow
missing the colour purple

open sky
narrow lanes
clustered forest
fresh air

thirsty bottles walk
hand in hand
benches rest
every now and then

morning banters
breathing in and out
stretching left
stretching right
stretching front and back

sleepy nights wake up slow
young and old faces glow
in the morning sun yellow

the gypsy world travels through
the nooks and corners
mute no more
my morning walk
goes home to rest

Sleepless Summer

cooler - loud and hoarse
summer nights vapourise sleep
eyes wide
frozen dreams

Doubt

The moment you think
This may not be what it is
It ceases to be

Fine Today

An impending doom,
It's all going to end soon.
Today, I am fine.

Judge Me Not

Make me or break me
Judge me not from what you hear
but from what you feel

May Longings

An afternoon brews
Sultry Summer Sweats all through
Desires deepen

Who Am I?

A Hope that soon dies
Or am I the Summer rain
of short existence?

Morning Paper

Morning Paper!
Window to my information
Dipped in morning tea

Rendezvous

It's a rendezvous
Meeting of two hearts and minds
Expectations high!

Heaven

Sleepy afternoon
Dreams of a far away land
Heaven in His arms

Seasons In Delhi

Seasons in Delhi:
Summer melts, Winter freezes
Monsoon's always late!

Good Morning!

yellow horizon
flowers yellow
from the rock rusty brown
leaped the sun yellow
a good morning in the making

The Last Kiss

The last kiss goodbye
Devouring body and soul
Then, to starve for life

Silence

Before the goodbyes
And after it's said and done
Silence takes over

Need

Needed to be held
To be hugged and kissed goodnight
Cried myself to sleep

Imbalance

Seen too many deaths
Somehow lived through all of them
One life too many?

Conflict

Something to fight for
or something to fight against.
Conflict runs the world!

(Un)Said And (Un)Done

of all that was said...
and done...
what was left unsaid...
cannot be undone...

Free Moment

This moment is free...

Past - taxing, Future - unbilled...
Let's live this moment!

His Moon

The Sun is rising...
His Heart is lonely again...
His Moon is dying...

Evolving Past

Looking back, again...

All things good and all things bad...
Still changes with Time...

Songs In A Breeze

When you sing, I dream
No care for the world but you
I build, dwell ‘our’ home

.................................

Let’s walk together
I can feel the breeze coming
Perhaps it will rain

................................

It’s been a long while
The words, the songs and the wind
Still it seems so fresh

Nightmares

Sun-rays paint the room
Two tired eyes finally close
Dreams rise. Night’s mare sleeps.

...........................


Huge black door cringes
Darkness crawls out. Arms open
Night creeps in. I sink.

...........................


Hard days - sleep deprived
Broken bones, strained flesh, need rest
Some nights never ends

...........................


The shadow looms large
Sweet dreams: the child smiles
Soon a scream follows

More You Than Me

More beautiful than anything else that's beautiful in the world...
you are more woman than any woman could ever be...

the innocent charms...
a giggle and an outburst of laughter...
merrier than the lark in the warm spring morning...
you are more free-spirited than any bird could ever be...

the silent heartaches...
reminders of the forgotten world...
crawling under the skin...
stealing me away from myself...
you are more burdened than any wanting soul could be...

Since the day I have known you I have forgotten what it is to be me...
I'm more of you and less of me than I've ever been...

Love And Time

Time knew why I couldn’t be with you…
Time knew why you couldn’t be with me…
Yet Time never told any one of us, what would become of us…

The feeling was just right all through…
We knew what we felt for each other…
But I knew you loved me when you had left…
You knew I loved you when I didn’t come back…

You were my only, my other half…
I was your soul-mate, yours forever…
But I let you go when you held on to me…
You had moved on, when I came back for you…

The difference between a fairy tale and a never after…
Is how the game was played by the Time Master…
A moment sooner or a moment later…
A love attained could be lost again…

Time – the greatest friend and the deadliest foe –
Of love and lovers… they just don’t know…

And so the story goes…
Of how love became true when it was lost…
And lovers meant for each other, when they lost in touch…

Across The River

This river never dries… it flows through the valley of love…
and feeds on the lovers’ cries…
Come and wash your pain away... dip your feet in the water…
on the soft grass you can lay…
Feel the caress of the breeze… close your eyes and sleep…
let the pain go with ease…

Slip into a peaceful dream… hold onto hopes of morrow…
float in the moonlight beams…
Create a space in your heart… drain all your hurt out…
and prepare for a fresh start…
Build a bridge in the morning… and walk across the river…
for your life will be waiting…

Pain comes and goes… like everything else in life…
they are your friends as well as foes…
Treat them well and equal… learn from their lessons…
or your sufferings will be dual!
We are lost in our pain… in hope we are found…
and discover the magic of life again…

A-maze-ing Lines...

few lines i drew... some of the lines were you...
few lines were mine... some lines undefined...
no two lines were the same...
a line drawn sooner... a line drawn later...
a line a little shorter... a line a bit longer...
the lines were all straight...
but they created a maze...

and now i just stand here...
staring at my creation...
i was supposed to find my way... to you...
but i no longer know where am i and where are you...

if our lives are defined by the lines...
add me to those lives, who are lost in their own lines...

...To Our Nights Together

The breeze was calling me... as it touched me tonight...
it had your fingers and your eyes...
it could see how much I longed for you...
it could feel how much you were missed...

The dreams were calling me... a hope for tomorrow...
the dreams we wove together...
walking hand in hand...
we were living those moments...
of hearts beating faster... of love getting stronger...

not quite the strangers...
not quite the lovers... yet...
two souls longing... longing to be entwined...

and like any other day...
the wait is waiting again...
but with the hope it will soon end...

The Need… To Live

It’s never clear what we need
How less is less, how much is greed?
I take one step at a time
Every step new and sublime
What wrong I do or going to?
Is right, right all the way through?
Making sense of the puzzle I lead
Each piece broken, each piece bleeds
If I could salvage, would I try?
Should I wait for life to come by?
How to fix the missing links?
Clues written in invisible inks
What I want is a feeling within
I will only know when it sinks in
How do I go and where to find it?
When the feeling comes bit by bit
The blame is always hanging close
The beauty dies of an overdose
The mystery of the magic in between
Lies in the moments that have been
If only we could live our past
We’ll know how long it would last
The crowding voices all around
Can my peace ever be found?
All that is familiar soon wears out
Revealing contempt and some doubts
Can we always make it work?
Eating with knives and forks
Will you know if I was drowning deep?
Or think I’m in a peaceful sleep?
Too many sockets, too many wires
Can I live with unconnected desires?
Waiting for the message in a bottle
Crack the code or burst the bubble
A long walk on an endless shore
I can feel there is something more
In the company of circumstance
I’m living life by taking my chance
An end is inevitable for us all anyway
I would have lived if I lived just a day

Till Eternity...

It was a sweet embrace
Of a love full of grace
It was everything and more
Something never felt before
The teasing long stares
Two souls lying bare
Looking through the eyes
Catching dreams like fireflies
Smoke rings and stale air
Sweet kiss and soft hair

Morning had to come
Now we have become
Strangers yet again
The shame and the pain
It was a beautiful night
To be left out of sight
And to remember only
When the heart is lonely
A wave and a goodbye
An ache and a long sigh!

A life of twenty-two
Broken in pieces of you
Several nights and days
I was lost in my ways
Took time to be found
But I did come around
I thought I was not late
The moon could not wait
It melted from the sky
In tears of love gone by

Drained out of energy
No time for an elegy
Few cards and letters
Memories which matter
Holding on, letting go
I keep moving to and fro
Learning to breathe easy
The past can be heavy
The future is a long while
I am stuck in your smile

Key to all my questions
Locked up in my reasons
Answers changing shapes
Behind curtains and drapes
Standing on opposite sides
My heart and mind collide
But I will go to wherever
I know we can be forever
Your promises I have to keep
Then we’ll sleep an eternal sleep

The Bubble…

I called out your name in silence and hoped you would hear my cry…
I had a dream, a nightmare; I was standing all alone without you…
I thought of all that we had imagined, all that we had planned…
I felt a surge of sorrow holding me tight, I could not breathe…
I was reaching out for you, to feel safe in your arms again…

My peace is meaningless if it does not come with you…
My happiness is hollow if I cannot share it with you…
My world is incomplete if it does not shelter you…
My life is a dream if I cannot wake up with you…

What is helplessness when it isn’t cowardice?
What is giving in when it isn’t surrender?
What is suicide when it isn’t planned?
What is losing when it isn’t lost?

Is it a hope in the making?
Or is it a life breaking?
When I’m waiting…
waiting for you…
to come…
to me…

My Mother, My Manipur

This is where I was born, this is where I had my name
This is where I grew up, this is where I played my game

Then I slowly fell apart, then I slowly drifted away
Then I slowly lost in touch, then I slowly had my way

I could not hear her cry, I could not see her tears
I could not feel her worry, I could not feel her fears

A new world was calling, a new world smiled at me
A new world lay ahead, a new world where I could be

Worked hard and fast, worked with my heart and soul
Worked my way up, worked through the good and foul

Tried my best to fit in, tried my best to know I belong
Tried my best to live well, tried my best ever so long

Once a week I talked to her, once a week was no more
Once a while I spoke to her, once a while, long before

Good things traced me down, good things came my way
Good things made me forget, good things made me stay

I was being born again, I was building my home again
I was so young and restless, I was so young to feel the pain

I began to crumble down, I began to fall into pieces
I began to realize the world, I began to realize the faces

Few friends remained, few friends covered my ground
Few friends believed, few friends knew I’d come around

I was breathing once again, I was breathing so pure
I was breathing a new life, I was breathing so sure

I strived to climb up again, I strived to gain new heights
I strived to make it work, I strived to win with all my might

Happiness is an uneasy guest, happiness comes and goes
Happiness visited so briefly, happiness left me some woes

Questions were soon raised, questions were thrown about
Questions were puzzling me, questions filled me with doubts

My life was a blessing, my life should not have been at all
My life was bleeding, my life had no roots – big or small

I heard her calling again, I heard her loud and clear
I heard why I could not die, I heard why I could hear

A mother was missing her son, a mother called Manipur
A mother was crying out, a mother was asking for cure

This is where I was born, this is where I need to rest
This is where I grew up, this is where I’ll build my nest

Now I can let it go, now I can sleep well in her arms
Now she won’t cry again, now nothing can do me harm

Realisation

Some journeys take us nowhere...
Some roads lead us nowhere...
Some feelings cannot be explained...
Some thoughts cannot be reasoned...

I've been walking for a while now
twisting and turning with
every twist and turn.
There was once the idea of a destination
Now the journey is of doubts and hesitations.

I've been loving for a while now
flying and crying with
every joy and sorrow.
There was once the idea of an 'ever after'
Now the feeling doesn't even register.

I've been living for a while now
rising and falling with
every rise and fall.
There was once the idea of a good life
Now the thoughts are wasted and pain is rife.

Some journeys are hard to take...
Some roads are hard to tread...
Some feelings - difficult to understand...
Some thoughts - difficult to comprehend...

"Untitled" - Hindi

Tanhaeeyon se ab darr lagta nahi...
shayad itna tanha hoon main
Waqt ke guzarne ka andaza nahi...
tuta koi lamha hoon main

Kabhi takte rehte the darwaze par...
ab kisi ka intezaar nahi
Hai bhoole huwe yaadon mein chhupa...
Bhoola huwa kisi ka pyaar kahi

Suraj ke jagne par so jaate hai ab...
raat aankhon se behti hai jo
Koi khwaab nahi sirhaane mere, unse
aankh roothi si rehti hai jo

Hai khamoshiyon ke naghmon mein...
gungunati meri udaasi
reh-reh kar kho rahi hai mujhse...
zindagi ye meri zara si

The Cherry Blossom

I ran pass you in my childhood
I stood a while and caught my breath too
I walked slowly holding my mother’s hand
I raced with my sister up to the house
I waited a long while for someone to come back
I left someone waiting for me for far too long
I carried my past and dreams of my future
I returned defeated and lost…

You saw the procession that carried the dear departed
You were a witness to the lost and how!
I watched the night sky standing in front of you
I was wishing upon a star that was born
You knew when I lost again
My home was just another house in the making
I packed my world and left for another
Now you see me standing here again
Still lost and still devoid of a million hopes

Year after year you blossom and fall
Year after year you have survived
I am willing to learn the lessons now
The wisdom you wanted me to know
Of how it’s a journey and it has to go on
Shed few tears and bear few smiles

Give me some of your strength
Lend me some of your patience
Let me hold onto a piece of earth
and the whole wide sky
To know that I do make a difference
To those few who would stop and look
and find happiness in my blossoms
And to those lives I will be a witness to
Like you have been to mine…

Someday someone like me will come to me too
Like the way I have come to you
Thank me with all his heart and
Feel blessed to have me in his life

Dear Cherry Blossom,
It’s reassuring to realize you will watch over
the house that now builds a new home
I thank you for being there and for being you
Even though I’ve changed in so many ways!

Searching for Home!

Always something to run from
Always something to run to
Always a hunger and a thirst
Always a sense of incompletion
Always a hurry to set out
Always a worry to where?
Always the confusion following swiftly
Always the heart feeling a doubt
Always finding a dead-end
Always retreating and venturing again

Always succumbing to laziness
Always falling back into a comfort zone
Always declaring a brand new resolution
Always running after a dream
Always tracing the details of
the dreams that wear out soon
Always an empty hand
Always an empty heart
and a mind full of everything
but nothing to make it smile

Always the past crawling up
Always the nightmares catching up
Always the temptations driving you mad
Always the flirtations of the sweet success
Always the assurance of a hollow life
showing a world full of joy
Always the mirage playing the tricks
and always the poor me falling prey

Always the pretensions of a happy self
masking the self in distraught
Always the Heaven in one’s eyes
soothing the flames of Hell
underneath the feet
Always a promised land in sight,
teasing and mocking the endeavour
of a drowning man of might
Always the journey, stations and destinations, suitcases and bags
Never a place to call, “My Home”

Contemplating Sunset!

Follow the signs, I leave behind...

It's not far, wherever you are...

Just walk a while, and you'll see me smile...

I'm just waiting, maybe contemplating...

Let's witness a spectacle, a mundane miracle...

When the sun will set, lonely this heart will get...

But if you'll come to me, the sunset can be happy...