On The Edge...

I was standing on the edge looking down below...
Thinking about life and all that was long gone...
Neither future laid ahead nor past was letting go...
Cold winter breeze made me feel more alone...

I have always believed in it, but life is strange...
One moment it fills your heart with hope...
The next moment hope is thrown out of range...
This fluid nature I was finding hard to cope...

When love came visiting one of those rare days...
I forgot all about me and loved only thee...
It could have been Heaven in so many ways...
But the stay was short and it ceased to be...

I thought a while and got ready to take the fall...
But I was saved when I heard my friend's call...

Life Is Such...

Life is such…
When something is hurting you, something gets healed as well…
When you lose something, something is on its way to you…
When you are forgotten by some, others always think of you…
And even though, in the end, all that matters is you…
You know you can never find yourself, for when you woke up in the morning, you were already dead!

Life is such…
Always running ahead of you but something is still left behind…
Always promising you the moon on moonless dark nights…
Always ‘Once upon a time…’ but never the ‘Happily ever after’…
And even though, in the end, it’s just a fairly tale…
You know you wished for a happy end, only the story had too many twist and you were already dead!

Life is such…
Days run into each other in awkward pace without grace…
Days catching up and days coming on to you too strong…
Days holding you back and days letting you go so easily…
And even though, in the end, the days are numbered…
You know those days of mild summer and warm winter are waiting, too bad if you are already dead!

This Is It Or Is It?

This is it… this is where it’s supposed to be…
This is all that we ever wanted…
This is the coming true of all our dreams…

So, why am I still standing at the threshold?
Why am I still trying to figure things out and thinking so much?

It’s just a single step…
A simple gesture…
Almost a thousandth of all the actions I do in a day
Like the twitch of the eye or the snap of the finger

Just take a step and come in to your world…

I still waited… thinking if it was right… thinking if it’s the answer to all my questions… the realization of all my dreams…

I still waited… thinking a while… if this is where I can see myself lounging around when I’m old… looking at my grandchildren play… feeling your arms around me… feeling you near me… through all those years…

I still waited… and thought for long…


Then the sun went down on me… and I knew not where I was… and where I wanted to be…

I just stood there… waiting…

A Thousand Mile To Love

I leaned on to you, stranger, to get through the empty nights
Dropped few tears before I said goodbye

When I crossed the road and kept walking on
I didn’t realize I was leaving behind more than the memory of love…
To unlearn and teach myself the way to live again

I settled in at awkward pace to the new life I built

The walls are empty…
No frames or pictures fill the space…
Why remember and review those picture-perfect moments again?

There is no trace of any mirror as well…
Why take a chance to even reflect upon the past again?

Each day revealed more…
Each day showed the signs…
The present was taking over
The past was now behind….

Some thousand miles and here I am on a chilly winter night…
Taking refuge in your company again


The only difference…

No tears to shed
Or goodbye to be said

Just the thought of you
Just the sight of you
Just the smell of you
And the touch of you


I have now realized…
All through the journey
I was being born again
Just to be with you…

ख्याल या सवाल

सुना घर, खाली मकान
सन्नातों का डेरा है ये दिल मेरा

रात रोती रहती है, शाम बुझी सी रहती है
दिन में छाई रहती है एक खुमारी सी

नशे में गुम हो गए है हर दर्द कही
जो होश में आ जाऊ तो डर लगता है, मर न जाऊ कही

सिसकियाँ गूंजते है, ऐ ज़िन्दगी तेरे खाली कमरों से
मेरे आर्जूवों को कही तुने तो नहीं छुपा रखा कही

Alzheimer's And Her

Morning tea was now ready
The toast had just been buttered
You were awake already
Cleaning the room of the clutter

I sat you down on the bed
And put the tray on the table
You took a sip of tea and said
'I miss those leaves of maple.'


You were pointing at the painting
The one you drew long ago
I smiled as I remembered waiting
among the leaves, red and yellow

After lunch, we headed outside
Taking a walk in the snow
I held your hand, you turned aside
Suddenly I was feeling low


I read you the book you had bought
Holding on to the life we knew
You were lost in your own thoughts
I felt I was slipping away from you

'Such a lovely painting it is.
Did we buy it last year?'
I didn't know what to say to this
I said smiling, 'You drew it dear.'


You looked outside the window
And went for a walk alone
It seemed time was moving slow
It was long since you were gone

You were standing by the river
Looking lost, not knowing where you were
The Time was catching up faster
Memories were falling, here and there

I stared long at the painting
We were young and full of hope then
Colours of life were now fading
Soon everything will be forgotten

Talking To Self

I breathe in a life here
I breathe out a life there
I swirl, I stop, I move, I get locked
A body that lives and exist with a mind
vacant of thoughts...
Rarely, somehow I feel alive
A moment that throws a picture of you

Aim, goal - where do they dwell?
A path that sees an end midway
is where I travelled and have still to find
the 'me' I lost
No purpose, no pursuit
Halfway I was born,
back or forth I live?
Dilemma - all that I eat

Real or fake? Or am I just
on a Nobody's list
Footprints all over me
of savaged and peerly beasts
A broken-winged creature
that breathes in you palm
Drained of emotions
or never had any;
You tell me.

I am all that I know
all that was seen
A piece stolen, a part hidden
Fragments that cling on are
leftovers of me
Unfinished task, ruined in points
One by one, all that made me
drew apart... why you?

Unending nights, uncoiled days
Passed them all in
varying degrees
I have survived
a lonely spell
of abysmal grief,
a floating blame
that shrunk me all along
Whether dead or alive
or living dead..
I know not

Victory? Defeat?
Tell me what my name is...