Fact, Fiction

I hear your footsteps
or maybe I am dreaming
or still hoping

The life we had
I can see it slipping away
I can see it
in the silence of a helpless father
in the coldness of a broken mother

I lie on your bed sometimes
to take in your smell
or what is left of it
to help me sleep

Fact is real
but fact is cruel
Fact is you are gone
So I am in love with fiction

It's the only way I know
to live without you
To write you into my life
till I run out of words

Prisoner

The disappearing light
The shadows take over
The day is ending


I look at you smiling
in a faded photograph
I am lost again


Prisoner of the past
learning to let go.. but
Hope dies slow

Dewdrops

I nestled in your arms
curled up like a young leaf
before the dawn

The night was cold
Your breath kept me warm
before I froze

in the morning mist
waiting for the sunlight
to shine on me

Soon the Sun rose
and my smile sparkled
just for a while

then I melted away
and was lost forever
like the dewdrops

in a cold Winter morning
leaving a cold sigh
of warm smoke

in your lips
calling out my name
but all in vain

The Haze And The Blossom

The haze was suppose to lift - but it stayed on
like an uninvited guest.. for days on end

Then one day, without warning -
cleared altogether, when one had gone
accustomed to it.

The denial had turned to acceptance when
familiarity bred compassion..

Now it's denial again, a failure to accept,
the familiar is a stranger again!

The flowers which never
bloomed in the sunshine
but blossomed in the haze
now show signs of dying
with each passing sunny day

When your existence
becomes dependent
on something beyond your control,
wherein lies the blame for the life
which withered away?

The haze which couldn't stay?
Or the sun which now returns?

Or did the flowers deserve their fate
for loving the traveling haze?

Maybe it was meant to be...
a love which blossomed and died...
a love which could never last..

Except for in folk-tales
or in legends hearsay told

of a rare blossom,
one in hundred generations could witness,
nurtured
in an untimely,
uninvited haze

My Slow Dance...

Years fall apart..
Walls come undone..
Clumsy feet trying to recall
the rhythm of yesterday..
when we knew how to dance
like the world didn't exist..

I traveled around.. roamed the world..
was lost and found.
You were there somewhere..
with your worries and care..

Rooms of conversations, of passionate exchanges,
remained unopened all through the years

Under the night sky,
the past singing in blues
and the present standing still..
We found the key,
if just for a while,
to the room we left behind.

Different destinies
collide for a moment
and soon will depart..

But for now,
here's my little chance,
perhaps my only,
to have my slow dance
with you.

तेरे बगैर.. माँ

कई सिरहाने बदले है मैंने
पर वो सुकून कही मिला नहीं
जो तेरे गोद में सर रख कर
सोने से मिलता था, माँ

देखते है, सुनते है
अंगिनत किस्से-कहानियाँ
उनपर मगर अब यक़ीन कम होता है
वो बचपन की तेरी एक राजा और
एक रानी की कहानी
अब भी सच्ची लगती है, माँ

डर जाता हूँ, मैं सहम जाता हूँ
जब भी बुरा सपना कोई
आँखों को ढूंढ़ लेता है
तू दौड़ के आएगी सहलाने मुझे
पल भर को ये उम्मीद रहता है, माँ

कई बार की है कोशिश लेकिन
चुटकियों से मात खा जाता हूँ
मीठे का मिठास, नमकीन का नमक
अंदाजों में घुल जाते है
जुबां पर अब भी ठहरा है मेरे
वो स्वाद तेरे हाथों का, माँ

दिल को बहलाने के बहाने कई है
मगर ऐसा कोई मिला नहीं
जो तेरी तरह तेरी कमी को मिटा सके
जैसे टूटे खिलौनों के रोने पर
तेरे एक छूने से
मेरी हँसी जुड़ जाती थी, माँ

ऐसा कभी सोचा ही नहीं था
तेरे बिना भी कोई ज़िन्दगी होगी
ये और बात है की
तेरे बगैर मैं अब
जी रहा हूँ, माँ

Diwali No More

Banana trees standing guard..
Lighted lamps glowing in the dark..
Smiles and laughter
Happiness and cheer

Under the moonless sky,
a family of five
gather for celebration

Those were the real Diwali...
It's just lights and crackers now...
nothing else!

Wild Run!

Umbrella flying!
Bare-footed, Free-spirited
Wild run in the rain!

It rains down the lane
Then I think of you. And now
it rains in my eyes.

This rain reminds me -
of the freedom of childhood
or of some lost love!

Mid-life Crisis

In the middle of an afternoon rain
I take my silent walk to nowhere
Treading with care on the wet lanes
Avoiding puddles here and there

Children run around dancing on the way
Splashing water, playing with each other
They laugh and smile invitingly as I lay
Waiting, standing cold under a shelter

Wrapped in each others' arms, young lovers
Ignite their passion in the falling rain
They pass by leaving me to remember
All my past lovers and their love in vain

‘Life is for the young and the restless’
A deep sigh, then I walk on nonetheless

Your Yesterday…

It’s another day in the making
I am going back to your yesterday

I see you only in bits and pieces
Let me hold onto your yesterday

I am sinking in my nothingness
Come drown me in your yesterday

In your dreams I fall asleep
Wake me up in your yesterday

I could have died in your arms
But I am living in your yesterday

Temptation

When the foreplay
last longer
than the act

and the after-effects
felt for days on end

It's an affair
doomed
for failure

bringing down everything
you had build (till then)
on its way out

Dust

Dust of Time
falls on everything

the shelf of books
unread
the rack of shoes
worn-out
the table with stationery
disorganised

No dust settles
on the memories

The Return

I had walked alone the long mile
Traces of my travel you can see
I am here at last, I see you smile
But my countenance lack glee

The man whom you bid farewell
And the man who now returns
The stark difference you can tell
Only in you the flame still burns

You walked away, I said nothing
I thought too deep for too long
I knew I was losing everything
Yet I knew I had to be strong

'You let go when you can't hold on
Even if you know you can't live on'

After You

The pieces broke loose
I was complete in your arms
Falling apart now

Prisoners Of Hearts

Such longings! Such dreams!
Never lets go or moves on...
Prisoners of hearts..

Luck, Life

Luck and all His friends
Masters in the art of Time
Life hopes in their midst!

Grief

Five stages of grief
Is it the first or the last,
when it never ends?

The Act

Role-playing


I was the Charmer
and you
the Charmed!
I was the Devil
and you
my Lamb!

I fed you promises
I fed you hope
I fed you things
that you craved for

You swayed to
my tunes
You danced to
my beats
You grazed on
the meadows
I created out of
dreams!


Role-reversal


Tired eyes and tired
bodies
retire from the game

Behind the masks
Behind the curtains
After the play
After the lights
are out

Incoherent heart,
mind and soul
Entangled in a web
of illusion and reality

Seduced by the act
Teased by the touch

The Charmer becomes
the Charmed!
The Devil is now
the Lamb!

Love You Not

I could not love you
I knew too much already
Too much knowledge kills!

Mind Games!

Dark red corners
Stimulating lanes
Playful alleys

When the mind
plays the game,
everything else
cease to
exist

Believe

When you believe...
everything seems fine...
when you don't, it's not...

Sleep

Why sleep eludes me?
Elusive like love can be...
But soon I will fall...

.............................................

I just had a 'fall'...
I cannot even recall...
how I 'fell' asleep?

Goodbye Summer!

The hills beckon me
Lush greens, wet lanes, monsoon rain
Goodbye, my Summer!

Nothingness

The end of the road
No more journeys or rest home
Only nothingness

It was yesterday
Looking at the sky, he smiled
Today, it's raining!

The changes we ask
of those who loved and loves us
change us more than them

Who suffers alone?
Who embraces solitude?
One who holds the pen.

Tragedies, Comedies

Tragedies
are the best
comedies

When I suffer
I know
You smile

Lost Spring

Dry clouds
No sign of rain

Summer overstayed
Monsoon delayed

My Spring
Lost in between

Parched Heart
Saturated Emotions
The former's pride
The stubborn latter

Monsoon of Love
lay waiting

Flowers And Leaves

Image Courtesy: www.illustratedlight.com


Bright pastel flowers
like luscious lips
charm men,
birds
and insects alike

Leaves grow
in different shades
of green -
green with
envy

Spring

Covers came apart
Life was waiting to break through
My Spring now blossoms!

A Day Of Love?

February 14:
The heart was pierced,
it bled dry
and died

Fools now
celebrate it
as a day of Love!

When we stop to care
Only the best still holds on
Soon, nothing remains.

Course Of Love

In the course of Love,
When the feeling comes and goes,
It takes more than gives.

Family Matters

Family matters:
The ones who have it - complain
Those who don't - miss it!

Remains Of The Pain

Another year gone...
another date to strike-through...
Memories remain

Different places...
and in different time zones...
Hearts feel the same pain

Broken, fragmented...
incoherent moments are...
Her only remains

It's not forgotten...
Not quite remembered as well...
What gives such pain!

Some part lives in you...
And some part resides in me...
so much still remains

We will see it through;
The pain that remains...
and the remains of the pain

Morning Walk

Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctony

Bougainvillea
white, red, pink and yellow
missing the colour purple

open sky
narrow lanes
clustered forest
fresh air

thirsty bottles walk
hand in hand
benches rest
every now and then

morning banters
breathing in and out
stretching left
stretching right
stretching front and back

sleepy nights wake up slow
young and old faces glow
in the morning sun yellow

the gypsy world travels through
the nooks and corners
mute no more
my morning walk
goes home to rest

Sleepless Summer

cooler - loud and hoarse
summer nights vapourise sleep
eyes wide
frozen dreams

Doubt

The moment you think
This may not be what it is
It ceases to be

Fine Today

An impending doom,
It's all going to end soon.
Today, I am fine.

Judge Me Not

Make me or break me
Judge me not from what you hear
but from what you feel

May Longings

An afternoon brews
Sultry Summer Sweats all through
Desires deepen

Who Am I?

A Hope that soon dies
Or am I the Summer rain
of short existence?

Morning Paper

Morning Paper!
Window to my information
Dipped in morning tea

Rendezvous

It's a rendezvous
Meeting of two hearts and minds
Expectations high!

Heaven

Sleepy afternoon
Dreams of a far away land
Heaven in His arms

Seasons In Delhi

Seasons in Delhi:
Summer melts, Winter freezes
Monsoon's always late!

Good Morning!

yellow horizon
flowers yellow
from the rock rusty brown
leaped the sun yellow
a good morning in the making

The Last Kiss

The last kiss goodbye
Devouring body and soul
Then, to starve for life

Silence

Before the goodbyes
And after it's said and done
Silence takes over

Need

Needed to be held
To be hugged and kissed goodnight
Cried myself to sleep

Imbalance

Seen too many deaths
Somehow lived through all of them
One life too many?

Conflict

Something to fight for
or something to fight against.
Conflict runs the world!

(Un)Said And (Un)Done

of all that was said...
and done...
what was left unsaid...
cannot be undone...