Talking To Self

I breathe in a life here
I breathe out a life there
I swirl, I stop, I move, I get locked
A body that lives and exist with a mind
vacant of thoughts...
Rarely, somehow I feel alive
A moment that throws a picture of you

Aim, goal - where do they dwell?
A path that sees an end midway
is where I travelled and have still to find
the 'me' I lost
No purpose, no pursuit
Halfway I was born,
back or forth I live?
Dilemma - all that I eat

Real or fake? Or am I just
on a Nobody's list
Footprints all over me
of savaged and peerly beasts
A broken-winged creature
that breathes in you palm
Drained of emotions
or never had any;
You tell me.

I am all that I know
all that was seen
A piece stolen, a part hidden
Fragments that cling on are
leftovers of me
Unfinished task, ruined in points
One by one, all that made me
drew apart... why you?

Unending nights, uncoiled days
Passed them all in
varying degrees
I have survived
a lonely spell
of abysmal grief,
a floating blame
that shrunk me all along
Whether dead or alive
or living dead..
I know not

Victory? Defeat?
Tell me what my name is...